


Where did it go?

by nxttime



Category: Batman (Comics), Batman - All Media Types, Red Hood and the Outlaws (Comics), Under the Red Hood
Genre: Angst, Anyways, Bruce Wayne is a Good Parent, Don't care, Gen, I liked it, Impulsive writing, Jason grew up without him, Listen up, i guess i tried to be poetic, not sure it worked though
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-11
Updated: 2019-06-11
Packaged: 2020-04-24 21:20:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 612
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19181596
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nxttime/pseuds/nxttime
Summary: “If I could go back in time… I’d do it. Not to change how things turned out–no, I couldn’t be more proud of the man you’ve become."I’d to it just to be there. To be able to watch you turn into this man you are. You’re not that bright-eyed little boy anymore, not by a long shot, no. You’re a bright-eyed man that I get to call my son. I love you. I’mproudof you."I just wish I hadn’t blinked.”





	Where did it go?

**Author's Note:**

> fsgbg this was written at like one in the morning.

_“Where did it go?”_

Bruce sat before Jason’s memorial, head tilted back to look up at his son’s uniform.

The paper in his lax hand weighed heavier than the sun, a heavy weight that blanketed his shoulders in some horrible attempt at comforting pressure that instead made Bruce want to fold under its weight and be crushed.

The Batcomputer repeated its message.

_“DNA match–Red Hood–Jason Todd. DNA match.”_

It added another layer onto the bedrock on Bruce’s back, and he wanted to scream and cry and find his son all at once. He wanted to find him and hug him and yell and ask him _why?_ Wanted to hold him and make sure it wasn’t some horrible joke–Bruce wanted his son _home,_ blood on his hands be damned.

But he couldn’t find him. Couldn’t hold him. Couldn’t say “I missed you, Jaylad,” or “Please come home,” becase he didn’t know where Jason was.

He couldn’t do anything.

So he curled into himself and cried.

_“Where did the time go?”_

Bruce watched his son hold a gun to the Joker’s head, watched his hand tremor once as he held the weapon, and he was numb. He didn’t want to believe it– _couldn’t._

But how could he not?

Jason was barely ten feet away.

“It’s him or me, Bruce!”

_He’s gotten older,_ was all Bruce could think as he stared at the sharp lines of Jason’s jaw and cheeks. _When did he grow up,_ repeated itself in his skull as he observed the matured muscle on his son. _Why wasn’t I there,_ was the painful and traitorous mantra in his head, and that’s the one Bruce internally screamed at.

He wasn’t there to watch his son grow.

_He wasn’t there to watch his son grow._

For the second time in a week, Bruce cried.

_“When did you go and grow without me?”_

Bruce walked to the Batmobile to get started on patrol, but was stopped with a hand on his shoulder.

Pausing and turning, he saw Jason standing there, helmet under his arm and domino dangling from his fingertips.

His gaze was level with Jason’s.

“If I get my hands on him first,” Jason’s saying, but Bruce could barely focus on the words because he was stuck on the deepness and roughness and _maturity_ to Jason’s voice, “you know what’s going to happen.”

“I know, Jason,” Bruce heard himself respond. He felt his arm move to place a gauntleted hand on Jason’s gloved one that remained on his shoulder. He heard himself say, “And you’ll still have a place in our family. Still have a room in this house. Still be welcome _home,_ Jason, _always.”_

Jason’s breath hitched, and he said, “We’ll see if you change your mind.”

Bruce didn’t play along, answered, “Never.”

And when he watched Jason turn and walk off, body bulked up even more than it was barely three months ago when he was in the run-down apartment room with Jason and the Joker, hauntingly aware of the way Jason’s voice had roughened and deepened with his growth…

Bruce nearly cried in despair.

He’d blinked and missed his son turning into a man.

_“If I could go back in time… I’d do it. Not to change how things turned out–no, I couldn’t be more proud of the man you’ve become._

_"I’d to it just to be there. To be able to watch you turn into this man you are. You’re not that bright-eyed little boy anymore, not by a long shot, no. You’re a bright-eyed man that I get to call my son. I love you. I’m_ **_proud_ ** _of you._

_"I just wish I hadn’t blinked.”_


End file.
